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Post by brian on Dec 9, 2007 14:56:32 GMT 1
Been there, done that. There was a time in our lives when we were so busy the most communicating my wife & I did was by phone!
We've been together 40 years now. mostly down to Carol's perseverance & Patience.
Not trying to give any answers here, just encouragement.
there is always hope
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Post by moonsmith on Dec 9, 2007 22:33:00 GMT 1
Hi,
couple of questions that you've very probably already asked yourself - but others may read this and not have asked them.
What do YOU want? How much do you want it? What risks will you take to get it?
Measured against:
What do you NOT want? What will you tolerate. What risks will you take not to suffer it?
I have had the need to ask myself those two questions and took the easy route; the status quo. Not satisfactory. Not the lifestyle that we see advertised all around us - but life, and a decision of a sort.
but
Only you know how the balance is moving.
I DO have an excellent and very simple counseling tool to aid decisions if you want to use it. But you need to have a decision in mind first. PM me if you REALLY want to use it.
Come here and have a hug. ((( you ))) Asking these questions at this time of year must be hard.
Thinking of you
XX Me
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Post by admin on Dec 10, 2007 9:57:16 GMT 1
The only advice I can give is not to judge your own relationship by looking at other people's relationships. Decide what you want, and go for that. Don't worry about what other people are doing, or look at others thinking they must be really happy together. I was in a very unhappy marriage for a good few years and no one except a close friend had any clue to what was going on.
So decide what you want and go for it, and in the meantime ((hugs))
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Post by merrybel on Dec 11, 2007 10:25:46 GMT 1
Hugs from me too, Marie. I know exactly what you are going through, unfortunately, through various relationships (I've had a few, looking back!!)
As Pat says, it is a difficult time of year to be thinking about relationships and all their ins and outs. Be strong. You have to do what is best for all of you in the long run. And, once again, as Pat says, that might not be the status quo.
We all have big shoulders - moan away.
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Post by wyrdewood on Dec 11, 2007 11:06:46 GMT 1
Even though this is a time of year that is all about giving, I agree with Pat, Rhiannon and Sam wholeheartedly. I spent ten years thinking about what my ex should, or could, be doing to help our relationship. Sadly, it took seven of those years to realise that it wasn't working. There is a time when you have to say,"What's in it for me". I have been with my current partner for over ten years and we are still the same as when we first met and I wouldn't change a thing! There is nothing I wouldn't do for her.
It's okay to be selfish and think about your own needs, and stuff everyone else and what they might think.
A heartfelt warm embrace is being sent your way.
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