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Post by ian on Sept 18, 2007 19:58:36 GMT 1
Glyn, he will love all the attention your right, but believe me he will also be fuming in that he has no way of retaliation, he is silent for once until the poxy solicitors letters come through the door saying we are all being nasty to the little defenseless person (was gonna say man but that would e pushing the truth just a little bit too much  ). But the reason (and I think it is a very valid reason) is that people who are either new to Paganism or just do not know this person for what they are need to be warned about what he is like, lets face it he comes across as being oh so nice, so knowledgable and so friendly, he will do anything for you when you first meet him but it all comes at a cost, gets you into a false sense of security if you like, but I honestly feel that people need to know these FACTS about him, come on who else invents a whole new path just out of the blue and declares himself a Eldermanof it, no one knows any different cos its all made up by him as he goes along  This is the reason why I feel this thread should not only be left open but I think it would serve the community as a whole if it was made a sticky thread  |
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Post by gwenifer on Sept 20, 2007 12:01:52 GMT 1
I agree with Drach, sorry but the more you think, fume and try to spread the word the happier he is! Why waste your time? Some people have to go through crap, that's part of their journey on this path and you know very well from your own kids that you can't tell anyone something they don't want to listen to!! Let it go, you can't do anything about the past, you can't get revenge and you are just wasting energy that you need to complete your recovery. Break free of the cycle.
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Post by celticwolf on Sept 20, 2007 17:15:16 GMT 1
however you cant help it if something annoys you...Is it not better to talk it through with trusted people than it make you bitter inside?
Celticwolf
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Post by gwenifer on Sept 20, 2007 20:39:43 GMT 1
Ian knows he can always ring me for a rant at any time, as can many other people. I have issues with people talking about it on the board or PM - ing everyone and laying their shit on people who don't want to know. Mainly because the person in question likes the attention and the 'wronged' group just can't let go and get on with their lives. If someone is coming round to your house and banging on the door and shouting the odds, phone the police, if they are sending you threatening or unpleasant e-mails, collect them and send them to the persons ISP and BLOCK any more being sent to you! Solicitors letters aren't worth the paper they are written on and so use them to wipe your arse on.
So lets all drop it now and get on with having some decent discussions and ignore the saddo - with - no -mates.
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Post by kharma on Sept 20, 2007 21:46:51 GMT 1
Glynis for someone who doesn't want to know you have a lot to say ;D
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Post by kharma on Sept 20, 2007 22:10:38 GMT 1
Oh and Glynis I promise not to PM you any more of my sh*t, i just thought since you claim to know everything you might feel a bit left out ;D ;D ;D
Oh Ian don't bother phoning me for a rant, just come over and we'll try aiming those fireworks a bit better this year ;D ;D ;D
Jo
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Post by wyrdewood on Sept 21, 2007 11:36:05 GMT 1
This article relates to advice on troublesome five year olds. However, it has a relevance for us all in dealing with negative behaviour. Some people never emotionally grow up, even though they inhabit an adult body.
"THE ATTENTION DEPRIVED CHILD
When children do not get enough attention, they resort to outbursts, tantrums, nagging, teasing, and other annoying behaviors. They think, "If I can't get attention by being good, then I'll misbehave to get attention."
When you give your child attention for misbehavior, you are giving negative attention. Negative attention typically begins when you become upset. You follow with threats, complaint and distress. Negative attention is not a punishment; it is a reward. Negative attention does not punish misbehavior, but increases it.
Negative attention teaches children how to manipulate and get their way. They learn to be troublesome. They learn how to interrupt you. They learn how to control you. Negative attention teaches children how to tease, nag, and annoy. It teaches children to aggravate, irritate, and exasperate. We teach this by not paying attention to our children when they are behaving appropriately, and by paying attention to them when they are misbehaving.
When you ignore misbehaviors, you are giving no attention. Because attention is rewarding to children, withholding attention can be an effective punishment. Withholding attention can weaken a misbehavior. When your child misbehaves to get your attention, ignore the misbehavior. Ignore your child's inappropriate demands for attention. You will weaken those demands and extinguish the misbehavior.
“Coping with a disruptive child” Sam Seveere 2000"
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Post by kharma on Sept 22, 2007 15:07:30 GMT 1
ha-ha wish you had posted it a few days ago  jo |
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