|
Post by evadarkness on Aug 4, 2007 16:24:23 GMT 1
While at University there was a group of us who spent lots of time together. We spent breaks together, had social meetings and stressed over projects together.
One of these people was a little difficult to get on with at times so I would not say we were close friends but I would certainly not have left her out when inviting the other nicer people. In fact, had even invited along to some sales opportunities. That's what friends do, try to support and help each other.
Well apparently she does not agree with this judging from recent actions. She recently got a space in a shared workshop around the corner form mine with other jewellery makers. Some of whom I know or at least have met.
It turns out she said some rather nasty things about me that were not even true to some of them. Things that would harm my reputation as an artist. To think I had this person in my home sharing food at my table.
A few of us have always noted she is very negative but this really hurt. I know I am not her best bud but to spread rumors about my work is below the belt.
Needless to say I will not be including her in any future things I organize. Because the person who told me about this works in the same studio I can not confront her that would make things very tense. This means I cant really explain things to the others either in case it gets back to her.
Seems like all I can do is keep my distance if we end up somewhere together and try to prove the rumors wrong. Really, I thought we were all a bit old for this type of silliness!
Thanks for letting me vent.
M.
|
|
|
Post by gwenifer on Aug 4, 2007 17:31:29 GMT 1
Marie, you have a right to know why she is spreading malicious rumours about you, ask her what she has said and why. It may be difficult or tense to work in the same unit if you say something but are you going to be able to forget it? Are you not going to be tense anyway because you resent her telling lies? Deal with it, don't let it fester!!
|
|
|
Post by kharma on Aug 4, 2007 17:46:45 GMT 1
I would do the same as you, at the end of the day you have wasted enough energy on this person, and before long she will show her true colours to those she works with aswell. Just keep reminding people to make there own mind up about you and your work.
Good Luck
Jo xx
|
|
|
Post by admin on Aug 6, 2007 13:36:39 GMT 1
Ditto to what Jo said. You thought she was a friend and unfortunately she has shown herself not to be. It can hurt when we misjudge people so badly. Move on and don't waste any more energy on her. People like that end up eaten by their own bitterness in the end.
I don't see how she can say anything nasty about your work. I'm the proud owner of several pieces and I think it's fab. Mum loves it too and she's really finicky about quality.
bb Rhiannon
|
|
|
Post by poshfrock on Aug 6, 2007 21:40:40 GMT 1
Yes I agree with the above statements too.
some people can be very hurtful and cut deeply without realizing it. but maybe she is not a happy person and envy's you, maybe she get her strength by putting you down.
but then some people get off by cutting their friends. Ive had it done to me and Ive done it to other's.
but i must admit, Ive felt bad afterwords. were as some people grow on trying to humiliate.
Don't worry about it. you know your worth and thats the main thing.
BB Eileanx
|
|
|
Post by brumwolf on Aug 6, 2007 22:37:44 GMT 1
Rise above it and just let her hand herself. From the sounds of it she's going to play the same game with others. Just be ready to with you best smug "I told you so face" No seriously, just ignore her, she obviously needs you and others to validate herself so any reaction will allow her to play the "see, I told you she was out to get me" card. I know its hard, and yeah I know, I'm one of hte people who does not take that approach, but hey,who said I have to follow my own advice BTW, if you do organise other events and you do exclude her, sooner or later she will ask you way, just reply that you did not think she would want to be accociated with someone who's work is so different to hers
|
|
|
Post by gwenifer on Aug 7, 2007 18:26:55 GMT 1
I'd still want to find out why if I were in your place, after all she might be totally innocent and someone else might be lying!!
|
|
|
Post by celticwolf on Aug 9, 2007 15:48:08 GMT 1
At the end of the day if you show any reaction then she has "won", i think that the best thing to do is just ignore the situation as people that know you and know your work would not beleive childish rumours anyway. Keep your chin up about the whole thing as she is acting like that then obviously her social life must be that mundane that she needs to spice it up with some untruths!
Celticwolf
|
|
|
Post by evadarkness on Aug 10, 2007 9:17:46 GMT 1
Over the four years I have known this woman she has shown herself to be very negitive. The person who told me about the conversation is a good friend and would not lie but also does not want to be put in a position where she was to share a space with someone who knows she repeated a conversation.
These days I am trying to destress. My normal reaction would be to confront her and have a big todo. My husband's reaction (who is very laid back) would be to letit go and work to let people see the truth without a big todo.
So I am going with his route. Instead of a todo have decided to offer workshops to people in the studio that she shares. Not only would this start a skills exchange which would be positive but then people could see themselves that what she has said is not true. Best of all this resolves things in a positive way!
Marie
|
|
|
Post by wyrdewood on Aug 10, 2007 10:26:32 GMT 1
I'm glad to hear you are protecting yourself. To involve yourself would only mean dealing with her negative energies and that would be harmful to your mental and physical wellbeing. If anything, feel pity for this woman as she has obviously had some damaging trauma in her life that has left her with these feelings of inadequacy and bitterness. Trust me, in the long term, she is only going to hurt herself. To react to her comments only fuels her fire even more and validates her criticisms. Your work is excellent and, as everyone else has said, anyone who sees it will soon realise the truth. If this woman doesn't change she will eventually be very alone and, most likely, wondering why. But, of course, she won't see it is anything she has done and blame the rest of the world for her failings.
|
|